The Unsuitablog

Exposing Ethical Hypocrites Everywhere!

Archive for the 'Spoofs' Category

British Airways To Cut Emissions 40% In Just 3 Days (Video)

Posted by keith on 18th March 2010

Willie Walsh, CEO of British Airways has committed the company to cutting aircraft emissions by 40% in just 3 days. From Saturday 20th March, BA will only be operating around 60% of their previous flight schedule, in a drive to dramatically cut greenhouse gas emissions.

This is a remarkable turnaround for a company that has strived to ensure offsetting, rather than direct reductions, is seen as the method of choice for the air transport industry. Other operators are considering similar cuts, with British Airways looking to make up to 100% cuts in emissions within 10 years. This will ensure the industry plays its part in helping prevent the worst effects of climate change.

Watch the video here.

[Oh, ok, it’s a spoof – the strike has struck, and the planes have been grounded. Now that’s how to cut emissions!]

Posted in Company Policies, Corporate Hypocrisy, Spoofs, Techno Fixes | No Comments »

One Action A Month To Undermine Ethical Hypocrisy

Posted by keith on 6th January 2010

2010 Calendar

There’s no time for a review of 2009, it’s happened, we are in deeper shit than we have ever been in, but one of the very few points of light is that the term “Greenwashing” has become common currency. It’s not so easy to greenwash now without being at least identified as a hypocrite; but in all sectors of civilised society, the waves of hypocrisy continue to ensure we still implicitly trust the industrial machine as the litmus test for what is “right”.

Across the UK, as I write, snow is beautifully enveloping the land, producing a swath of picture postcard images that will stay in the minds of so many children for years to come; not to mention the slide rides downhill,the snowball fights and the snow scuptures that feed ordinary people both young and old with excitement and imagination.

For the civilised, adult world, snow is simply a barrier to economic activity: the roads must be gritted, the airports must be kept clear, the shopping malls must remain open, we must all get to work. Our growing, pulsating economy depends upon it, so snowy weather is “bad” weather.

Nothing demonstrates the priorities of this destructive culture better than the twisting of a natural, seasonal phenomenon that can imbue such joy, into a blight upon society that must be dealt with — and now! This is a message that comes directly from the press packs, policy measures and editorial regimes of the corporations, politicians and broadcasters that run Industrial Civilization.

Angry? You bet I am!

2010 was, up to a few hours ago, going to be much of the same for The Unsuitablog, but then I started writing a message to the members of the Anti Greenwashing Action Facebook Group, and realised that there was so much we, and you, could do to undermine the system that tells you how to live your lives; often under a cloak of greenery and false hope. One action a month, by every person who reads The Unsuitablog: that’s a lot of actions that could really drive some terminal nails into the coffin labelled “Hypocrites”, helping to free up the minds of a mislead and brainwashed public.

Here it starts. Very soon, the first Monthly Undermining Task will be posted. I ask, implore you, to carry out this action, and repeat it as often as you feel comfortable doing so. It will not be difficult, and I will provide different levels of risk to account for all sorts of personal situations.

In February there will be another action, and another in March, and so on. Please tell me what you have done (you can remain perfectly anonymous) and if you send me photos, recordings, links to web pages and any other evidence, then I am willing to give them pride of place on The Unsuitablog so that others will be inspired to act themselves. If you have any ideas for MUTs then let me know at news@unsuitablog.org; and also take a look at this article if you want to understand why this is so important.

In 2011 you won’t need to look back and say: “Why didn’t I do something?”

You will be able to say: “Look what I did!”


MONTHLY ACTIONS POSTED:

January 2010 : The Great TV Turn-Off
February 2010 : Time To Break The Ads
March 2010: Throwing Off The Shackles Of Debt

Posted in Advice, Sabotage, Spoofs, Subvertising, Unsuitablog News | 2 Comments »

The Sky Is Falling…Tony Abbott Is A Confusing Man

Posted by keith on 5th January 2010

Tony Abbott - Wait And See

Freshly extruded Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has challenged the Prime Minister to debate him over the Government’s response to next week’s looming asteroid impact, saying that the science isn’t in on whether the planet’s collision with the 90 kilometre-wide clump of frozen iron, nickel and basalt will be nearly as apocalyptic as the Intergovernmental Panel on the Impending Asteroid Apocalypse is predicting.

While the Prime Minister pointed to his referral of the most recent emergency findings of the Federal Government’s Emergency Crisis Response Sub Committee to the Steering Committee of the National Crisis Coordinating Reference Group as evidence of how seriously his government took the threat of asteroid-related global extinction, Mr Abbott insisted that although he accepted there would be ”some impact” from the asteroid impact it remained to be seen whether this would be any more serious than ”the large number of other things that routinely bump into the earth from time to time, indeed every day”.

“Logs, quite big logs and branches, fall out of trees and directly impact the surface of the earth all the time,” said Mr Abbott. “People drops things, really very heavy things on occasion, and they almost always hit the earth in exactly the same way this so called asteroid is supposed to, that is, you know, vertically … and yet we don’t run around saying the sky is falling or imposing great big new taxes on the people of Australia.”

Arguing that it would be madness to saddle the economy with hundreds of billions of dollars in extra taxes before the asteroid even arrived and the extent of the impact and apocalypse was actually known, Mr Abbott unveiled the Coalition’s new position which he described as a “very prudent wait-and-see approach”.

The centre piece of his strategy was to respond to any possible asteroid impact without raising taxes or doing anything.

“While some scientists have been predicting the seas will rise up in five mile-high tsunamis, others have said the killer waves might only be two miles high,” Mr Abbott cautioned. “And when you have that sort of disagreement and then you get those leaked emails from that British university which openly questioned whether everyone would die immediately or a little bit later, well, you’ll excuse me if I regard all this end of the world stuff as a little hysterical and certainly not settled.”

Denying that he was an asteroid impact-denier, like his Minister for Denying Asteroid Impacts, Senator Minchin, Mr Abbott said that there were many people of good faith who remained sceptical about whether the impact would mean the end of all life as we know it, or simply the end of civilisation as we know it and they deserved to have their views debated too.

Unfortunately, according to the Government’s Minister for the End of the World, Senator Penny Wong, with the Coalition filibuster in the Senate likely to string out debate on the asteroid impact until well after the asteroid impacts next week, it is unlikely Mr Abbott will realise his desire to debate those views after all.

This beautiful spoof — in case you hadn’t guessed; after all, it’s close enough to be true — was written by John Birmingham (AKA Blunt Instrument) for the Sydney Morning Herald and deserves to be reposted because Tony Abbott is one of the most dangerous kind of sceptics. Without going into the background of his position too much; to the more radical of us in the environmental / ecological space, he actually comes across as a useful ally: by opposing a measure that toadys up to industry and allows traded emissions to masquerade as emissions cuts, he has done the right thing.

Then you look again and find he is using a scattergun approach to climate science, while also taking utterly discredited writers like Ian Plimer at face value:

If you look at Roman times, grapes grew up against Hadrian’s Wall – medieval times they grew crops in Greenland. In the 1700s they had ice fairs on the Thames. So the world has been significantly hotter, significantly colder than it is now. We’ve coped.

As I said, it is quite concerning but we have to remember that these are computer models and we also have to accept that there is… there are certainly some reputable scientists, Tony, who don’t accept that the most important element in climate change, to the extent that it’s occurring, is man-made carbon dioxide.

Well, look, if man-made CO2 was quite the villain that many of these people say it is, why hasn’t there just been a steady increase starting in 1750, and moving in a linear way up the graph.

These three quotes from the same interview demonstrate, in order, that (a) Tony Abbott is reading from the same song-sheet as the real old-school deniers, like Fred Singer; (b) he is trying to suggest that there is significant disagreement within the climate science community; and (c) he hasn’t a clue how natural climatic systems work at all. In other words, he appears to not have an original thought in his head and is thus extremely manipulatable. In a nation that really needs to take radical action to undermine the power of the fossil fuel and other industrial interests, Tony Abbot is rapidly becoming a potent player — acting the part of “confuser” quite brilliantly.

The industrialists must be grinning all the way to the bank / coal mine / clearcut.

Posted in Government Policies, Political Hypocrisy, Spoofs | No Comments »

National Farmers’ Union Calls For Cattle Cull To Prevent Bovine TB

Posted by keith on 2nd January 2010

NFU Logo

Farmers have accused UK ministers of doing nothing to prevent the spread of Bovine TB in cattle in England and Wales. The National Farmers’ Union, which represents the interests of farmers throughout the UK said that government policy for dealing with the disease was “unacceptable” and that farmers would be forced to take matters into their own hands in order to prevent the spread of the disease.

In a surprise move, the NFU said that it would be pushing for cattle culls in the worst affected areas in order to prevent the disease passing to other animals.

NFU president Peter Kendall said unless the disease was tackled in the cattle population, it would never be eradicated.

He said: “For years the NFU has pushed for a cull of badger populations in the worst affected areas, including the South West of England and parts of Wales. It has recently become clear that this policy would simply deal with a few isolated disease vectors while still leaving the root of the problem unmanaged.”

“Therefore, in recognition of the fact that without cattle there can be no Bovine Tuberculosis, we are calling for the government’s help in culling cattle herds where Bovine TB is a significant problem, and will be encouraging farmers to move away from this highly inefficient source of protein. Early signs are that farmers will welcome converting land to the growing of legumes, small-scale soya and nut orchards.”

“We have also, as a mark of respect, embarked on a process of returning some parts of our members’ arable farms to the kinds of habitats in which badgers can thrive — safe in their natural environment.”

Commenting on the radical u-turn, a government spokesman said: “Well, it certainly came as a surprise, but anything that reduces the amount of methane in the atmosphere is probably a good thing.”

Posted in Government Policies, Spoofs | No Comments »

The Yes Men Spoof Canada

Posted by keith on 15th December 2009

Canada Yes Men Hoax

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Press conference: 1pm CET, Frederiksholms Kanal 4, Copenhagen
Contact: Margaret Matembe, margaret.matembe@enviro-canada.ca, +45-23960186
Coverage: Click here, or click throughout press release for specific links
Videos:
     Canadian announcement (hi-res download)

     Ugandan response (hi-res download)

     Canadian retraction (hi-res download)

     Climate debt agents take responsibility (hi-res download)

More dream announcements coming soon! Come make your own or stay tuned at good-cop15.org.

Copenhagen Spoof Shames Canada; Climate Debt No Joke

African, Danish and Canadian youth join the Yes Men to demand climate justice and skewer Canadian climate policy

COPENHAGEN, Denmark – “Canada is ‘red-faced’!” (Globe and Mail) “Copenhagen spoof shames Canada!” (Guardian) "Hoax slices through Canadian spin on warming!" (The Toronto Star) “A childish prank!” (Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada)

What at first looked like the flip-flop of the century has been revealed as a sophisticated ruse by a coalition of African, North American, and European activists. The purpose: to highlight the most powerful nations’ obstruction of meaningful progress in Copenhagen, to push for just climate debt reparations, and to call out Canada in particular for its terrible climate policy.

The elaborate intercontinental operation was spearheaded by a group of concerned Canadian citizens, the “Climate Debt Agents” from ActionAid, and The Yes Men. It involved the creation of a best-case scenario in which Canadian government representatives unleashed a bold new initiative to curb emissions and spearhead a “Climate Debt Mechanism” for the developing world.

The ruse started at 2:00 PM Monday, when journalists around the world were surprised to receive a press release from “Environment Canada” (enviro-canada.com, a copy of ec.gc.ca) that claimed Canada was reversing its position on climate change.

[All links open in a new window]

Posted in Government Policies, Political Hypocrisy, Spoofs | 1 Comment »

Amazon Spoof For Buy Nothing Day

Posted by keith on 27th November 2009

Amazero

Nothing more to add, just a wonderful spoof of the Amazon web site, undermining the “buy stuff or you’re nobody!” message. Amazero indeed :-)

For the whole page go to Do The Green Thing

Posted in Spoofs, Subvertising | 1 Comment »

C.R.O.C.

Posted by keith on 28th October 2009

No comment necessary :-)

Posted in Spoofs | No Comments »

CO2 Is Green: Obviously This Is A Joke

Posted by keith on 29th September 2009

Did you enjoy that? Hilarious wasn’t it? So dour and pragmatic, you could almost think that the creators were being serious about the idea that CO2 wasn’t a pollutant, and that the presence of an excess amount in the atmosphere didn’t have dire consequences for the future of humanity and the rest of life.

Remember, a pollutant is simply something that is in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong quantity. The idea that carbon dioxide, therefore, isn’t a pollutant is not only physically wrong but also syntactically wrong. So it’s obviously a very clever, very funny spoof.

Leo Hickman in The Guardian, thinks otherwise.

“Is this a joke?” splutters one of the comments underneath the YouTube video of a new 30-second TV advert that has started being aired in a handful of US states over the past few days telling viewers that “CO2 is green“. Sadly not, it seems.

In a slick attempt to undermine the US Environmental Protection Agency’s recent ruling that CO2 should now be classified as a pollutant because rising levels of the gas in the atmosphere will “endanger public health or welfare”, a former oil industry executive has stumped up some of his cash to pay for these adverts to be shown in Montana and New Mexico. The ultimate aim of the advert, though, is to derail the forthcoming vote in the Senate on the Waxman-Markey cap-and-trade bill, which now appears as if it might even impact on vital UN climate talks in Copenhagen this December.

So who’s behind “CO2 is green” and this advert? One of its founders is H Leighton Steward who, until his retirement in 2000, was the vice chairman of Burlington Resources, a Houston-based oil and gas company bought by ConocoPhillips in 2006. Steward received the American Petroleum Institute’s Gold Medal for Distinguished Achievement in 2001 and remains an honorary director of the oil industry lobby group. In other words, we can conclude that this man boasts a particular pedigree within the oil industry.

The Washington Post (which admits it has taken a half-page advert from the “CO2 is green” group) is reporting that Steward, along with some associates, is now trying to establish the group as a charity:

Steward has joined forces with Corbin J Robertson Jr, chief executive of and leading shareholder in Natural Resource Partners, a Houston-based owner of coal resources that lets other companies mine in return for royalties. Its revenues were $291m [£184m] in 2008. They have formed two groups – CO2 Is Green designated for advocacy and Plants Need CO2 for education – with about $1m. Plants Need CO2 has applied for 501(c)(3) tax status, so that contributions would qualify as charitable donations, said Natural Resource Partners general counsel Wyatt L Hogan, who also serves on the group’s board.

The advert (which varies slightly depending on the state) is really something to behold. Here’s a transcript:

Congress is considering a law that would classify carbon dioxide as pollution. This will cost us jobs. There is no scientific evidence that CO2 is a pollutant. In fact, higher CO2 levels than we have today would help the earth’s ecosystems and would support more plant and animal life. Please take action. Contact your senator and congressman today and remind them CO2 is not pollution and more CO2 results in a greener earth. Go to CO2isgreen.com, because we all need CO2.

The advert is ripe for spoofing. It’s certainly tempting to laugh it off. (For extra merriment, visit the “CO2 is green” website and read the “Why do people believe these myths?” section: “They have been misinformed by people that benefit financially from propagating the myth.” Oh, the irony.)

But the advert is also a juddering reminder there are still powerful, influential forces straining every last sinew and dollar they possess to deny that rising CO2 levels are a problem. That such efforts should so easily be traced back to oil industry operatives is not wholly surprising, but sobering nonetheless.

Far more depressing, though, is the fact that they have produced this “Plants need CO2” website to better inform the public about the “positive effects of additional atmospheric CO2 and help prevent the inadvertent negative impact to human, plant and animal life if we reduce CO2”.

If it is real then what can we do about it?

Simply keep up the pretence that it is a spoof, and make the originators a laughing stock: everywhere it appears, in video form, or as a poster, or as an item on a web site, make sure you make a comment along the lines of “This is hilarious” or “Where can we see more spoofs like this” or “Genius, I haven’t laughed to much in ages.”

You can even join a Facebook Group about it: just make sure you make a few posts on their wall ;-)

Posted in Astroturfs, Corporate Hypocrisy, Spoofs | 1 Comment »

Taco Bell: Another Spot-On Onion Spoof

Posted by keith on 12th August 2009

Beautiful, and so close to the truth, as usual.

Hint: GM! ;-)

Posted in Spoofs | 1 Comment »

Pimp My EcoCrib

Posted by keith on 29th May 2009

I like Marcus Brigstocke…in fact he’s one of the few people I happily break my TV fast for mainly because there’s almost nothing not to like about him. This video is a lot of fun, and it’s produced by one of the few organisations related to a government that I have a fair bit of respect for, the Energy Saving Trust, who have fought against the tyranny of the centralised, money-obsessed UK government for years just to keep doing what they do. Unlike the now sadly defunct English Nature, which also did their best to ignore government policy and just look after nature, the Energy Saving Trust have managed to cling on and dispense pretty-well apolitical energy advice to whoever asks for it.

So, back to the video: as the man says, “I’m not perfect”, but he’s starting. Wonder how long it will take Marcus to do a Rob Newman, and really get stuck into the Culture of Maximum Harm…

Oh, what the hell! Here’s Rob Newman’s “History Of Oil” because I like clever comedians doing important stuff…

Posted in Spoofs | No Comments »