The Unsuitablog

You have to feel sorry…no, scrap that…Why should we feel sorry for the desperate little people thinking up their desperate little promotions in their desperate little offices for desperate companies in order to sell desperate little lives that other desperate little people will be stupid enough to want to live.

So much for the world of marketing, which in sheer desperation is increasingly turning to bucketloads of “eco descriptors” (that’s greenwashing adjectives and adverbs) to try and convince us that we don’t have to change because they are doing the changing for us…

“Forget old luxury, welcome green luxury!” said Joel Cere, CEO of [deleted] Resorts.” [deleted] Resorts is offering eco-aware urban escapees the luxury of private island home ownership with the launch of a truly guilt-free investment: The [deleted resort], Palawan.” “In a world of homogenous, over-developed concrete destinations, disinterested developers, fake themes and over-priced mini-bars, token green gestures and disenfranchised communities, [still deleted] Resorts provide an authentic experience for the grown-up backpacker, a guilt-free option for the traveler with conscience, a breath of fresh tropical air for sophisticated urban escapees.”[You just repeated yourself]

Designed exclusively for [stop it!] Resorts by former film art director, Antonio Calvo (“Love Actually,” “Alexander”, “Pride & Prejudice”.) 60 off-plan private residences await discriminating investors, who want to own a truly chic eco-home with a conscience and investment-grade security with an option to buy, re-sell or rent.

[utterly deleted] Resorts operates a “greenprint” for operations and, with development partners [anonymous] Investments and [null] Management [Ed. actually all the same company], benefit from sustainable construction methods employed, ethical management practice observed, and ecologically responsible operations as standard. That means 100% renewable energy, and for the first time in the hospitality industry, 100% of the resort’s net operating profits will be used to support local environmental and social programs. You can now own a truly chic eco-home with a conscience and investment-grade security.

I think my highlighter just ran out! Certainly my patience has run out, though I have no doubt that a number of gullible light-green blogs will be merrily posting this “news” because they are desperate for something positive, and have no qualms about giving a lovely green company a bit of free advertising.

Yes, except…

1) The resort is designed as an investment for very rich people who want to sink their money into a second (or third) home in an island paradise, except for those who want to make lots of cash from rich globetrotters in their gap-years who wouldn’t understand the word “connection” if it didn’t have a cellphone logo attached to it.

2) The much-vaunted “100% of the resort’s net operating profits” going to social projects, is after the developers have sold the units for big money, safely (well, hopefully not) putting it away in their expanding bank acounts. The “operating” remainder will be a pittance.

3) Everyone who stays there will have flown, in most cases long-haul, making a complete mockery of the “eco” tags. While the solar panels and mini-wind turbines keep the margueritas cool, the traveller will be spewing out tons of carbon dioxide on their way to and from their “eco-home”. Offset that, you bastards!

[That’s a joke, you can’t offset flights, obviously]

4) With all this greenwashing comes the classic guilt-shedding that only truly rich people can afford…

“We are now accepting interested buyers for our guilt-free residences in South East Asia”

…but they are guilty, truly guilty of hypocrisy.

My idea of luxury is lying under a tree in the sun with a book as the breeze caresses my back and the birdsong tumbles down upon me from the branches above…but if you are selling a dream there can be no “guilt-free” luxury, they are morally and practically inconsistent: “luxury” in civilized terms means money; “luxury” in civilized terms, means environmental harm. If you have to fly half way round the world to achieve your “simple” pleasures, you are morally bankrupt, my friend.