I thought the dirty tricks and fake grassroots activism being pushed by the group known as Hopenhagen couldn’t get any worse, and then I hear this from Johann Hari, who is currently in Copenhagen, lending an ear and column inches to the people who will be worst affected by climate change:

Every delegate to the Copenhagen summit is being greeted by the sight of a vast fake planet dominating the city’s central square. This swirling globe is covered with corporate logos – the Coke brand is stamped over Africa, while Carlsberg appears to own Asia, and McDonald’s announces “I’m loving it!” in great red letters above. “Welcome to Hopenhagen!” it cries. It is kept in the sky by endless blasts of hot air.

Yes, “Welcome to Hopenhagen”, that’s the rallying cry of the media executives who work for the corporations that will do anything to dominate the proceedings at this last-ditch attempt for politicians to show they have a desire to make things better. As Johann goes on to say: “This plastic planet is the perfect symbol for this summit.” The politicians of the Industrial world have their agendas set by the corporations, who are kindly sponsoring the efforts of the Hopenhagen organisation, which just happens to be run by the International Advertising Association.

Back in June, I said: “This raises a hell of a lot of questions: not least that if Hopenhagen is the brainchild of an industry that depends on continuous consumer spending for its existence, how could it be sustainable in any way?” As they promised, the campaign has been ramping up and up, with their billboards, their viral ads and their Facebook group, for which there are 42,000 members largely dancing to the tune of the corporate world. One person just posted the following: “The title is Hopenhagen, Let’s try to keep the comments toward the hopeful and not rant at everyone. If we all put a little effort into making small changes, we can make big changes. Peace”

To which I responded:

The IAA wants the corporations of the world to thrive otherwise it’s members would suffer: Hopenhagen is currently being promoted in Copenhagen with billboards covered in corporate logos. One of Hopenhagen’s key sponsors, DuPont was a founder member of the climate sceptic Global Climate Coalition. Coca Cola suck India and Mexico dry; Gap exploit workers for cheap clothing; BMW make overpowered gas-guzzlers; Seimens have a nice line in oil and gas exploration – all of these partners of Hopenhagen.

I have nothing more to add. But you might want to say something…

A new campaign was launched a few days ago, with the blessing of the United Nations: it’s called Hopenhagen. There is clearly a huge level of creative genius behind the name (ok, I’m being sarcastic), as you can tell it is a portmanteau word, consisting of “hope” and “copenhagen”, and indeed it is intended to be the start of a massive advertising push to provide “a platform for individuals around the world to participate and have a say in the future of the world.”

That last bit was extracted from the Hopenhagen press release, as issued by IAA Global:

(June 23, 2009 – Cannes, France) The United Nations, together with the International Advertising Association and a coalition of the world’s leading advertising, marketing and media agencies today launched Hopenhagen – a movement that empowers global citizens to engage in the December United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP15) in Copenhagen – at the Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival. Hopenhagen is a global marketing and communications initiative that will inspire and generate mass activation around the world.

“Climate change is one of the epic challenges facing this and future generations. World leaders will come together for the Copenhagen climate change conference in December and every citizen of the world has a stake in the outcome. It is time to seal a deal. We need a global movement that mobilizes real change,” said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. Hopenhagen is about more than hope. “It is about global action for a global climate treaty and a better future for humankind,” Ban added.

Delegates from 192 nations will meet in December in Copenhagen to ratify a new international global climate treaty, which will take effect when the first commitment period of the Kyoto Protocol expires in 2012. Recognizing the tremendous role that communications will play leading up to and during the Conference, the United Nations engaged the global advertising and media industry through the International Advertising Association (IAA) to develop a comprehensive communications program to drive public awareness and generate action. Hopenhagen will complement the UN’s “Seal the Deal!” campaign, which calls on world leaders to “unite to find a solution to climate change that is fair, balanced, effective and science-based.”

“Climate change is a universal challenge, and we believe the world’s citizens are ready to act – they are just seeking the right platform,” said IAA Executive Director Michael Lee. “The strategy and stunning creative concept for the Hopenhagen idea came from WPP’s Ogilvy & Mather team, digital framework and direction were developed by MDC Partner’s Colle+McVoy, and the global PR and messaging plans spearheaded by Omnicom’s Ketchum. The collaboration that has taken place among the world’s leading agencies to develop this campaign for the United Nations is unprecedented and a testament to the significance the industry places on the need for action to address climate change.”

This raises a hell of a lot of questions: not least that if Hopenhagen is the brainchild of an industry that depends on continuous consumer spending for its existence, how could it be sustainable in any way? More worrying, though, that the advertising industry seems to have the support of the United Nations.

While on the surface Hopenhagen appears to have United Nations approval, there is actually nothing on the press release that links the two organisations (IAA and UN) directly. Have they used authority by association? It turns out that the UN are actually a big part of this. A United Nations press release from 2008, says:

SECRETARY-GENERAL LAUNCHES PUBLIC AWARENESS PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN UNITED NATIONS,

ADVERTISING LEADERS FOR NEW GLOBAL AGREEMENT ON CLIMATE CHANGE IN COPENHAGEN

A new public awareness partnership to support United Nations-led efforts to promote a new global agreement on climate change in Copenhagen next December was launched today by United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and more than 20 advertising industry leaders of the international advertising community.

Initiated by the International Advertising Association (UN-IAA), and timed to coincide with the opening of the sixty-third United Nations General Assembly and the fifth annual Advertising Week in New York, the new partnership marks a milestone in private sector support for action on climate change. The partnership builds on the International Advertising Association’s social responsibility programmes with the United Nations, a desire by the organizers of Advertising Week to galvanize the forces of the advertising community for a common, larger good, and support from the most powerful leaders of the global communications industry to come up with strategic solutions to one of the most important issues facing the planet today.

Michael Lee, Executive Director of the International Advertising Association, said, “It has become increasingly clear that the complexities of climate change issues present a communications challenge with both policymakers and the general public. The global ad community can make a significant contribution to help change consumer behaviour, influence public policy, and help the UN make further progress on this issue. The ultimate selling proposition might just be saving the planet.”

Mr. Ban stated, “We need action on climate change, and I applaud the determination of the advertising industry to help. As climate change affects everyone, everywhere, the UN needs partners in the private sector and in civil society to mobilize and spur action. Now is the time for action, and we welcome this assistance from the advertising community, which will bolster our present capacities.”

So has the advertising industry decided to abandon its work ensuring infinite economic growth and stop working with corporations; has the United Nations gone corporate and made the 2009 Copenhagen Summit a front for business as usual; or has the IAA stymied the UN entirely, leaving the UN thinking (with its collective mind) this is a really good idea for the planet?

The first question is easy to address — go to the IAA Global website, and straight away you see who the big players are in the organisation:

I also know, from various experiments carried out, that any anti-corporate messages on the laughable “global community” message page are deleted from the message list (that doesn’t mean I don’t encourage you to try and ruin the database). After getting the message total up to 90,000 — with the help of a few good friends — the counter was reset overnight, and the list became moderated. In fact, I suspect that now the only reason the counter is going up is because members of IAA are adding their own messages. Clearly any dissenting views will not be tolerated: we can Hope for change, but it won’t happen through Hopenhagen.

Which means that either the UN is a corporate body; or they have been greenwashed.

It would be tempting, if not satisfying, to think the latter — surely the United Nations wouldn’t take the corporate shilling in place of standing up for the planet in general, would they?

But they would. As I showed in this article about the Climate Group (“businesses and civil society are all discovering that the move towards a low-carbon economy, far from costing the Earth, can actually save money and invigorate growth“), Ban Ki-Moon doesn’t miss an opportunity to mention economic growth in his speeches — listen for yourself, next time he speaks. But here’s the real clincher: the UN’s own Seal The Deal campaign (basically a petition) which was mentioned in the Hopenhagen press release above is, above all, an attempt to ensure the global economy can continue growing (my emphasis below):

On December 7, world leaders will gather in Copenhagen, Denmark, to respond to one of the greatest challenges facing humanity: climate change and sustainable economic growth. But how to protect the planet and create a green economy that will lead to long-term prosperity? The negotiations in Copenhagen will need to answer this question. Our existence depends on it.

Reaching a deal by the time the meeting ends on December 18 will depend not only on political negotiations but also on public pressure from around the globe. Public support must be galvanized. To do this, the United Nations has launched “Seal the Deal”, a campaign that encourages users to sign an online, global petition which will be presented to world leaders. The petition will serve as a reminder that world leaders must negotiate a fair, balanced and effective agreement in Copenhagen, and that they must seal a deal to power green growth, protect our planet and build a more sustainable, prosperous global economy that will benefit all nations and all people.

If you know what “green growth” means then please tell me, but as is very clear indeed; economic growth is what has caused the global environmental situation we see now. As I wrote in a recent Earth Blog article:

“The rich and powerful have no intention of changing; they want things to carry on as they have done since Industrial Civilization was first created. For them, the worst thing that can happen is for the Economy that has fed their – and our – dreams to power down and fail. For the planet, and every single natural habitat, food web and species on it, the best thing that can happen is for that destructive thing called Economic Growth to be turned on its head, and buried for good.”

As for this horrible little, advertising driven campaign known as Hopenhagen: it’s greenwashing, and nothing more.

Here is a press release that makes no sense at all:

Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, a leading psychologist and the author of The Genius of Instinct: Reclaim Mother Nature’s Tools for Enhancing Your Health, Happiness, Family, and Work (FT Press, 2009) says, “Today, being psychologically green means tuning into your instincts, getting back to basics, and back to our human nature. Whereas physical green is analogous to protecting our planet, psychological green is about protecting and honoring our human nature.”

About the only thing good I can say for it is that it provides a perfect example of how to mix your metaphors, and end up with a pile of verbal slush. I use this press release, sent to me a couple of weeks ago, as a way of showing how to think “anti-greenwash”. One of the most underrated skills — and one of the most dangerous to Industrial Civilization — is Critical Thinking, the ability to tease meaning out of information and counter (or reinforce) that meaning with your own ideas. That is what I am going to do on the following text, which was part of the press release. Others may call it a “hatchet job”, which is fine by me.

Read along and if you spot anything I haven’t written down (I will just comment on the worst bits, from my POV) then please comment…

“Take a look at the plights we have now and you will see for that they are a result of going against our human nature, from being ‘instinctually disconnected.’ No wonder we are often so unhappy and unfulfilled. [Ok, that’s not a bad start, although it’s a bit vague] No wonder we sometimes get into the wrong relationships, take the wrong jobs, and make the wrong choices. At the same time, take a look at the individuals, families, organizations, and countries that are thriving, and you will conclude that they are doing nothing more than staying in synch with their human nature [So, ExxonMobil and the Burmese Junta are just sticking with human nature, are they? Basic error by not defining “thriving”.], that is why they are growing. It is our instinctual tools that allow us to thrive and to solve the everyday problems that we encounter. Indeed, today psychological green is true to the color of nature-green for growth.” [That last bit made no sense, whatsoever. Where did this “psychological green” come from? “Growth” in the industrial consumer culture is the antithesis of natural growth — what do you mean?]

What can we do to become “psychologically green…How do we get back in touch with our human nature?” The answer lies in using the genius of your instincts [Back on track; I use my instincts a lot]. Here are six tips to get you started:

1. Listen to your emotions; they are the voice of your instincts. Too many times, we rely on the opinions and recommendations of others to make our choice. Friends tell you, “He is perfect for you.” Parents and counselors tell the high school graduate, “This is the school for me.” We follow the advice, despite the nagging feeling that tells us, something isn’t right. Listening to your emotions and feelings is the beginning for getting connected to your instinctual tunes. [Again, no problem here, although the link with nature has been entirely lost]

2. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable. You are hardwired to care-solicit-ask others for help. It is Mother Nature[‘s] instinctual tool[s] that help you protect your vulnerabilities [Now she’s lost me. If you feel vulnerable then your vulnerabilities are not protected, but that contradicts the third sentence entirely.]. Yet, most people deny their vulnerabilities and as result, become disconnected from their care-soliciting instinct. Why does this happen? One reason is that feeling vulnerable is uncomfortable (as it should be since it communicates we are at risk.) Another reason is the conventional pop psychology message that successful individuals solve their own problems, the emotionally healthy too. Thus, we seldom ask for help when we really need it-whether it is asking our partner for help around the house or in managing finances [I’ve just been transported back to the 1950s!]. Being comfortable with feeling vulnerable will allow you to take advantage of your care-soliciting instincts [Why not just say, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help”? Sorry if that doesn’t use enough jargon].

3. Develop others: Can anyone deny the world would be better place if we all became more touched by our care-giving instincts, the evolutionary function being to develop the future [What does “develop the future” mean. Our evolutionary function is to survive; our cultural function, as imposed upon us by the culture we live in may be to “develop the future” but that is not innate.]. Fact is, Presidents have written books on the importance of care-giving [and the significance of this is what?], but Mother Nature said it first. In fact, both males and females are hardwired to be maternal and paternal-it is in your genes. Early parents who were good care-givers increased the survival chances of their off spring [Fine, and correct], and just as the Roman Empire had to develop young warriors, so does Merrill Lynch have to develop young warriors [which makes a complete mockery of the “evolutionary” argument, given that both the Roman Empire and Merrill Lynch both collapsed following intense periods of greed and acquisition!]. There are all sorts of reasons that inhibit our care-giving instincts, ranging from “it’s an effort,” to withholding love because of anger [What about the cultural system that discourages cooperation and long-term sustainability, in order to maximise profit?]-animals never do this. To get to your care-giving nature: at work, focus on developing others; at home, prioritize your children; with your partner, tune in to their physical and mental health. Also, do things for your community. All these activities will be a catalyst to get your care giving instincts going.

4. Look Your Personal Best: Silverback gorillas spend hours polishing their coats and picking fleas off themselves and each other. The more attractive they are to each other, the greater the chance of mating and perpetuation of their species. You are hardwired to beautify-to make yourself attractive for the purpose of making yourself desirable to others. If you are not, say goodbye to your line of genes. You’d be amazed how many people are surprised they didn’t get the job, even though they look like slobs, and how many executives are clueless to their abrasive demeanor that makes them unattractive to those above them and those under them. To begin to reconnect with your attractive instincts, take a lesson from the silverbacks-look your personal best. Few of us are movie star looking, but we can also do the simple things such as tucking in our shirt, polishing our shoes, [It was all going so well, and then she had to introduce cultural stereotypes – do we want to encourage a genetic line of office clones? Really?] combing our hair. Then, so that you can become a more desirable mate, a parent your children come to in times of need, and a more successful employee, develop your sense of humor, become a better listener, and be supportive to others, all actions of attractive instincts that will make you more desirable to others. [I can’t really disagree with that, although I’m slightly concerned with the focus on being “desirable” — it all sounds rather contrived.]

5. Commit to cooperate. The recent Summit [Which one, of the dozens?], according to the President, is the beginning of a more “cooperative world.” The fact is, we are all hard wired to cooperate-not compete [Well, actually, we are hard-wired to compete in cooperative groups, but in general this is correct – as opposed to the way the business world, that this book seems intent on making you a “success” in, functions]. Remember, the first atom could not make it by itself so it coagulated [“Coagulated”? How can an atom coagulate? Bad science] with others and ever since, it has been a team game [Terrible analogy: all forces, as far as we know, have anti- forces, intent on breaking apart (increasing entropy) rather than combining]. Get in touch with your cooperative nature-it brings out the best in you and others. Start by making the commitment to cooperate, especially when others aren’t. Be like lions, who don’t punish or exclude the “laggards” who don’t do their share, but rather continue their own efforts to make the pride stronger [I may be wrong here, but aren’t uncooperative lions banished from prides?]. Tit for Tat is a losing strategy, and one that is hard to break-it ruins relationships. Teach your kids that they can’t be lucky every day but they can be nice every day. The fact is, nice guys do finish first [But not in the business world — see the next sentence]. Project managers-create a team identity, you will see cooperation increase, and make sure fairness is in play, as few people quit when the rules are fair. Parents-create a sibling identity for your child’s [Child’s what?] and you will rid your household from sibling rivalry [No you won’t — sibling rivalry is innate; it can be controlled but never banished] and create sibling support. Partners-honor your couple identity-it will reinforce each of your desire to nourish the relationship.

6. Become a Curious George/Georgette. You are hardwired to investigate and explore your environment-it increases the likelihood of encountering objects-be it a person, a book, or food-that can enhance your existence [I’m getting really fed up with these hyphens — have they not heard of en-dashes?]. That is the evolutionary function of your curiosity instinct. Your curiosity instinct accelerates your learning so it is good that we have a Green President [NO!!!!!!! See my article.]who has made curiosity one of his Administration’s core values [Ok, I may be across the water, but I don’t remember this]. Unfortunately, parents stifle the curiosity of their children every day by ignoring or failing to encourage their interests, usually because it does not concur with the parents’ interest. Countless couples stay stuck in their comfort zone by choosing their favorite restaurant every time out, rather than taking a chance on a new spot, and our schools have lost their edge by failing to ignite the curiosity of students, especially in science and math. [What horribly mundane examples — what about getting out into nature; questioning the nature of schooling; questioning the entire culture of destruction?]Ask yourself-when was the last time you developed a new interest-if not, you’re probably a bore [Oh, that’s very nice!]. Get back to your curious nature if you want to stay ahead of the pack [Oh, that’s even nicer! All that stuff about cooperation, and then it’s suddenly dog-eat-dog]. Begin to Alpha up [Clearly I didn’t pay enough attention in class — I have no idea what this means]-increase your energy level, a prerequisite for curio[u]s actions like going for a walk in new area of town. Mentally stimulate your curiosity by asking yourself questions you don’t know until you are motivated to find out. Go to a new restaurant and order a novel dish, all for the sake of jump starting your dormant curiosity instinct.

Follow these tips and the next time you are turning green [Oh, I see, it’s that kind of green! So I’m sure there won’t be any more mixed metaphors…], you won’t be envious or greedy. You will be growing […ok, I was wrong].

Now go and change something!

Are you a budding journalist who really cares about the planet?

Do you want to make a splash, while at the same time let people know how badly we are treating the Earth?

Are you a hypocrite?

Then you need to enter the Earth Journalism Awards.

Send us your Best Climate Change Reports!

Print, radio, TV and online journalists, photojournalists, bloggers from around the world are invited to participate in the Earth Journalism Awards.

Send us your best stories on climate change before September 7 2009 (12.00 pm, Paris-time, GMT+2) and win a trip to cover the Copenhagen Climate Summit!

Internews’ Earth Journalism Awards encourage high-quality local climate change coverage leading up to the United Nations Climate Change Conference, December 7-18 2009 in Copenhagen (COP15).

A total of 14 awards are now open for entry:

Seven Regional Awards on current affairs and news reporting on climate change: Eurasia, South Asia, East Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, Middle East & North Africa, Latin America & the Caribbean, and North America, Europe & Australia.

Six Thematic Awards: The Negotiations Award, The Human Voices Award, The Energy Award, The Forests Award, The Climate Change and Nature Award, and The Climate Change Adaptation Award.

The 14th award – the Global Public Award – will be chosen by the public, which will be invited to vote online for the best story drawn from the winning regional and thematic awards through a social networking campaign on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.

Look out for the 7th thematic award – The MTV Positive Change Award. It will be open for entry from June 22 2009 to creative youth between 18 and 28.

Winners will be flown to the United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP15) in Copenhagen this December, where they will cover these pivotal negotiations and be honoured at a high-profile awards ceremony.

People who care about more than just winning a fancy, polluting prize, need not apply.

Greenwash takes many forms, but you don’t expect it to come from a web site that doesn’t appear to have any great commercial pretences, and seems to want to do the right thing. As we have come to expect, sadly, some good intentions do often go terribly awry, leading to moral contradictions that are so obvious that you can only gape at the stupidity of whoever thought up the offending item.

Take green airlines.

What? Exactly. There is no such thing as a “green” airline, never has been and — given that Industrial Civilization is going to collapse long before anything like sustainability will truly be on the agenda (it’s a logical minefield out there) — never will be. All aircraft require vast amounts of fuel to get them in the air, generate the thrust necessary to keep them at cruising speed and simply to transport the great hulk of metal around. Fill the plane up and you still get a very environmentally unfriendly transport system; that’s just the way it is.

So when I get an email from a “green consumer” website (actually, forget what I said about good intentions — they also promote “green” cars, “green” large appliances and even “”””GREEN”””” OIL COMPANIES!!!) saying they have a chart of the 10 Least Environmentally Harmful Companies, my Greenwash Radar tends to go off the scale.

Dear Fellow Green Blogger:

We all know fossil fuels are on the way out, but until we all have electric cars powered by local solar/geothermal/small hydro your choice of gas station CAN make a difference to the environment. That’s because there are significant differences in the impact that oil companies have, from carbon footprint for extraction, to hazardous waste produced to water used. Greenopia utilized a six-part analysis method including greenhouse gas emissions and oil spill efficiency, to rank the Top ten major oil companies for their environmental impact…

Whoops! Sorry, that was the email I got in April about the oil companies…I wonder if the airlines one is any different:

Dear Fellow Green Blogger:

If you love to travel but hate that flying the friendly skies isn’t so earth-friendly then you should check out Greenopia’s newly released Greenest Commercial Airline Rankings Guide, when choosing your next airline carrier. [Ed: My next airline carrier! What kind of person claims to be green and is a frequent flier? A hypocrite.]

Topping the list are Virgin and Continental. Both airlines have fairly new fleets which tend to be more fuel-efficient, and have completed flights using biofuels [Ed: Great, biofuels. Food shortages and deforestation for flights.] . Both also offer carbon offset services and Virgin serves fair trade coffee on flights [Ed: Oh, FFS! As if that makes a difference.].

See where the other airlines ranked here: Greenopia Airline Ranking Guide

See our editorial on the subject here: “Greener Airlines? 10 Least Environmentally Harmful Companies”

“It’s a dilemma,” commented Greenopia founder and CEO, Gay Browne. “People are going to travel. Whatever method they chose will impact the planet. Our readers want to know how to get to their destination with the smallest environmental footprint, especially if they are boarding a jumbo jet [Ed: …then they know it isn’t green!]. We appreciate those airlines like Virgin and Continental that are taking great strides to green their passenger miles.”

Using an extensive list of criteria including fleet age, fuel consumption practices, carbon offsets, green building design, recycling programs, and organic, local and sustainable food items available on flights, rankings were determined.

Let me know if you’d like to interview Doug Mazeffa, our Director of Research, or if you would like us to put together a guest post on this topic tailored to your blog’s audience.

Best,

Ayana Meade
Associate Editor, Greenopia
ayana@greenopia.com
646-404-7850

Here’s the response-counter-response thread, for your enjoyment:

This is hilarious! Airlines being “green” – that’s the best joke I’ve heard all year. You can be guaranteed this will feature on The Unsuitablog.

Best

Keith
www.unsuitablog.com

P.S. It was meant to be a spoof, wasn’t it?

From Ayana:

Fair Enough. No one’s saying they’re green, but unless you completely abstain from flying (which not many of us do) you might as well spend your money with one that’s making strides to reduce the harm to the environment, while we’re all waiting for better solutions.

You *are* saying they are green:

“Greenopia has released its rankings of the 10 greenest commercial airlines operating domestic flights across America.”

I don’t fly – that’s my solution. What’s your excuse, Ayana?

Keith

From Ayana:

It’s great that you don’t fly out of principle, but the reality is that I doubt air travel is going anywhere any time soon. If you disagree, with the use of the term “greenest” to identify which is the lessor of the evils, that still doesn’t diminish the guide as a consumer tool that allows people to make an informed choice, and at least vote with their dollars as to which companies they will and won’t support. Information is powerful and promotes change.

It doesn’t promote change if that “change” is the difference between two things that are just as bad as each other or, worse still, makes people think that it is ok to continue doing the very things that have led us to the brink of environmental catastrophe. In effect, you are saying that if you want to fly then it is “green” to fly with these companies.: IT IS NOT, and you know it.

You are responsible for greenwashing of the very highest order, and cannot be allowed to continue in this way – it is totally unethical.

Regards

Keith

I didn’t receive a response.

Don’t forget, one of the best ways to kill greenwashing is to tell the offender that they are a hypocrite, in public. Why not write to Ayana yourself and I’ll publish the responses here.

I think I can truthfully say that television is the means by which greenwash, and other forms of anti-environmental propaganda, reaches people most effectively: magazines, newspapers and billboards are certainly grevious offenders, but as we subvert more and more of our lives to the great glass teat in the sitting room (the bedroom, the kitchen, the dining room, the pub, the car…) we become ever more receptive to what is coming out of it, even though we may not think we do.

Television is where the greenwashers go if they really want to get their message over to the maximum number of people in the most insidious way possible — which makes television, public television in particular, an obvious target for sabotage. You might not be able to get into peoples’ homes (although, as this article suggests, it would make a fine project) but, as this article from The Sietch Blog shows, everyone can have a go at freeing peoples’ minds…

I have had some interesting discussions with people who don’t like what I say in my book about sabotage. In a nutshell, sabotage, or probably more accurately, “undermining” is a vital activity in allowing a sizeable number of people to regain control of their lives that are otherwise being controlled by the forces that ensure we follow our current, destructive path. Sabotage of the things that control us is therefore, fundamental to creating large-scale change.

The way we have been taught, especially in recent years, to view anyone interfering with the workings of civilization as “terrorists” is a travesty. Sabotage for the sake of creating something better, no less than in order to ensure humans have a future on Earth, is no more negative than growing your own food or refusing to buy new goods; and is a lot more positive an action than, say, voting, which changes nothing except the superficial appearance of the political system.

And in case you think sabotage in order to give people their minds back is going to be difficult, here’s an example of something that everyone can do easily, quickly and without getting caught – and if you do get caught then what’s the worse that can happen? “Officer, I caught this individual switching my bank of televisions off!” Clearly a capital offence.

TV-B-Gone — and I make no excuses for advertising a product, because it’s one that could really change things — switches televisions and other remote controlled screens off. Simple. And it does it brilliantly…

This turns 17 off in 2 minutes at an electronics fair:



This clip shows how to use it through windows:



And this one, which I think is the best of all, shows how to use it in places where, surely you would get caught, but are not!



You can buy TV-B-Gone directly from the www.tvbgone.com or on your local eBay site.

I’ve just ordered one, and It’ll be attached to my house keys, so it’s always there when I get the urge. Go on, you know you want to do it!

You would be amazed how many times, and in how many different places, I have used mine…

I want you to forget about April 22, 2009. Just do whatever you normally do on that day; don’t write anything in your diary; don’t put a circle round the date on your calendar; don’t make a special effort to talk about the environment. Why should you? If you are not a hypocrite then Earth Day will mean nothing special to you because like all other days it will just be sustainable living as usual.

Alternatively – like the idiot businessman who gives up his daily aircraft commute to “respect the Earth”, but just on that one day – you could treat it as something special, a day to make huge symbolic waves that, miraculously, make no one wet, and leave no one with a long-lasting feeling that they are living lives that are not their own. If you think I’m being overly cynical, don’t forget that Earth Day 2008 was a horror story of excessive consumption on behalf of The Planet™, and it is looking like Earth Day 2009 is going to be even worse:

April 22 will mark Earth Day, an annual event celebrated around the world as the greenest of holidays. Established in 1970, it was created to call attention to the environment.

Earth Day coverage has grown exponentially over the past decade and will get substantial coverage in most media outlets — including national television, radio, newspaper, magazines, blogs, etc.

Earth Day creates an excellent opportunity for companies to promote their environmental activities and concerns to a broad base, as well as to their local community.

What will your company do for Earth Day to stand out to its base and capture the attention of its public? How will you let your customers, prospects, employees and/or shareholders know about your efforts to reduce carbon emissions, use more eco-friendly materials, reduce waste in packaging, start a recycling campaign, cut emissions, etc?

My suggestion: Don’t forget the kids. Children are Our Future.

A national research study commissioned by the National Environmental Education Training Foundation noted that children placed the environment third in a list of 10 issues behind only AIDS and kidnapping. This contrasts greatly with adults, for whom the economy, crime, and drugs are of greater concern. Children worry about long-term issues such as damage to the ozone layer and destruction of the rain forest.

Did you know that 99% of children in America today have access to environmental classes in school, and 31 states require schools to incorporate environmental concepts into virtually every subject in all grade levels?

Reach out to children. Children have influence over parents’ buying habits. as well as being an influencing force for recycling and conservation activities.

If you have a local business, work with a school district and get imprinted eco-friendly promotional items, which are educational, into the students’ hands. Try to target elementary or middle schools for best response and maximum impact.

I genuinely feel sick, reading this. I encourage you to post your own blogs, and send your own letters in about what you think of this kind of cynical, bloated marketing behaviour. Earth Day has become the perfect example of why business has no place in the future of this planet!

Big companies know they have to look good: that is why Corporate Social Responsibility — one of the most blatant misnomers of all time — was created. Produce a nice thick report saying all the good things you have done in the last financial year, and outlining all of the charitable giving, sustainability projects, improvements to your environmental and social impact and other great things you are planning and you have the means to pull the wool over the eyes of anyone who can’t be bothered to scrape off the surface veneer and look at what you really do as a company.

It is a truism that if a company is included in any of the major global stock indices like the Dow Jones Industrial Average or the FTSE-100 it will be unsustainable: that is, it has to have made a whacking great profit in the previous indexing period and, as such, will have to have made that profit at something else’s expense. If you want to make a profit out of oil, simply extract, refine and transport it at less than the amount someone is prepared to pay you for it — oil may be running out, but while people continue to burn it, and you have the means to produce it, you can still make a profit; if you want to make a profit out of retail, simply produce the goods and retail them at a cost less than you sell the product for — consumer goods may be selling slower, but while people still want to buy crap, and you have a million factory slaves working for you, you can still make a profit.

Basically, if you are a successful company, you will have got there by screwing either people, the planet, or more likely both.

But if you can produce some nice reports saying how responsible you are, you can still get to the top of a list of “Good Companies”, like the one published in The Observer this week.

In order to get into the Top 20, you will have to have been more than three-quarters perfect, according to the scoring system:

The idea is that the index should be helpful to investors who wish to hold shares in or deal with companies that try to make a positive contribution to society and follow good corporate governance practice.

Ethical investment is subjective – different people have different views on what they consider acceptable – and we do not make any judgment about the social usefulness or otherwise of particular industries. Some companies that would normally be excluded by ethical and green investment funds, because they operate in areas such as tobacco or arms, are included.

The maximum possible score is 100, with marks awarded on three main sets of criteria:

1 How companies report on their social and environmental risks and manage their impact – for instance, how they deal with workplace relations and environmental issues, and how well they perform in undertaking charity work. This accounts for 40 per cent of the overall score.

2 The quality of corporate governance. This includes the independence of the board, the quality of executive pay policies and the alignment of interests between executives and shareholders. This accounts for 30 per cent of the total score.

3 Sector issues – how companies address issues specific to their industry. For instance, food retailers are graded on responsible sourcing of products, labelling and sustainability; for a power company, these would include progress towards a lower-carbon portfolio. This accounts for 30 per cent of the total score.

The main source for the assessments is companies’ own reporting.

Surely this kind of system wouldn’t encourage companies to be a little flexible with the truth, would it? Take a look at the list of companies and see whether any of them strike you as rather less than good:

1 Scottish & South’n Energy 93.40
2 Kingfisher 87.05
3 BT Group 86.64
4 Mondi 85.94
5 Royal & Sun Alliance 83.00
6 Shaftesbury 82.82
7 Vodafone 81.50
8 Mouchel 81.27
9 Aviva 80.42
10 Johnson Matthey 79.89
11 Rolls-Royce 79.58
12 GKN 78.41
13 Smith & Nephew 77.28
14 BG Group 77.16
15 Hammerson 77.07
16 Tui Travel 76.89
17 Bhp Billiton 76.82
18 Marks & Spencer 76.61
19 Interserve 76.59
20 Atkins 76.41

You will probably not have heard of all of them, but I bet you have heard of, say Rolls-Royce (who produce engines for civilian and military aircraft), BG Group (whose entire business depends on people burning fossil fuels), Atkins (advisors to road builders, oil companies and the military) and our good friend BHP Billiton, who have pride of place on The Unsuitablog as uber-greenwashers.

Among the other companies are a military helicopter firm, a number of large-scale retail and business property developers, an air travel company and a company that specialise in selling cheap mass-produced goods.

Lists like this are a travesty — they seem to exist solely to pump up the appalling reputations of undeserving businesses who, in a time when the commerce boom is deflating should really be questioning their very existence. Or perhaps it’s people like us who should start learning to reject the very foundations of a society that considers a multi-billion dollar company to be “good”.

Picture the scene: celebrities schmoozing at a high-class champagne reception for the latest Hollywood blockbuster wrap-up — their air kisses filling the room with pretend adoration and hidden acrimony; the canapes filled with lobster and caviar and, for the vegetarians, air-freighted olives from the sun-kissed slopes of Kos; the gentle padding footsteps as another guest descends from her limousine onto the Du Pont protected red carpet and through the crystal chandeliered foyer into the warm glow of decadent luxury.

But hey, guys! Wait up! We’ve got a message to give, and we’ve gotta give it out to the world: “Love the Earth, like, all of it, not just the polar bears and stuff. Let’s give over our next fashion spreads to fabulous green-tinted clothes and organic hampers. Let’s show the world that we care too!”

The Environmental Media Association want to be the green voice of Hollywood and it’s media arms across the world, with things like this:

* A stylish Hollywood dinner party hosted by Mary-Kate Olsen where celebrity EMA Board Members ‘mentored’ the group on how to live a sustainable lifestyle. Attendees include Mischa Barton, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Metcalfe, Nicole Richie and other young celebrities. The event was covered in Teen Vogue.

* Playful yet informative PSA’s featuring Emmanuelle Chriqui, Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Maroon 5, Debra Messing, Edward Norton, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jason Ritter, Marla Sokoloff, Constance Zimmer and others. Topics range from water, air, energy and more, and have been aired nationwide on network, local and cable TV channels as well as specialized radio markets.

* EMA Board Member DJ AM spins at the first annual EMA E! Golden Green Party, ditching his gas-guzzling car for a new Lexus hybrid. TreePeople planted a tree for every party attendee including: Pink, JC Chavez, Jon Heder, Amy Smart and Sacha Baron Cohen. The event was covered by E! Entertainment Television, InStyle, USWeekly, People and more.

Can you see the power of celebrities changing the world for the better? Nope, me neither.

Many of us who have worked with computers have heard the phrase (usually applied to a heavily-tweaked, but underlyingly bad piece of software), “there’s no point varnishing a turd!” What we have here is a group of people who are trying to assuage their guilt — and they should be damn guilty, after spending most of their working lives selling us a planet-stripping,, synthetic dream —
through an appallingly superficial piece of greenwashing.

I honestly can’t say anything good about an organisation who write the following, with reference to engaging corporations in becoming “green”:

EMA has been at the forefront in working closely with the corporate world to move the environmental agenda forward. By supporting companies that incorporate environmental business practices and offer sustainable products, we not only put a spotlight on their products, but also encourage their competitors to follow suit. EMA’s credo: We can all change the world through shopping!

For f*ck sake! Is this real or is it a cover up for a cover up for a cover up of something that is aiming to actually make the world a worse place? I’m guessing that the organisers think it’s real, but in fact they have been duped, through their own obvious ignorance into creating the latter, and here’s why…

They have a Corporate Board, which if the other organisations I have covered are anything to go by, hold a great deal of sway over the message being given out. Apart from the gaggle of “eco-businesses” (yes, it’s a contradiction), notice the following less than ethical members:

BP America Inc. – Cindy Wymore (oil, gas, tar sands…)
Modern Traveler Magazine – Robert McElwee (long haul flights to everywhere)
New Pacific Realty Corporation – David P. Margulies (developer of vast malls and complexes)
Office Depot – Yalmaz Siddiqui, Tom Fernandez (clear felling, tropical hardwoods)
Southern California Edison – Hal Conklin (coal fired power stations)
Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc. – Ed LaRocque, Mary Nickerson (hey, it’s a Prius! Oh, and lots of SUVs)
Yahoo! – Amy Iorio (friends of Chinese censorship)

Putting celebrity lifestyle and “green” together is bad enough, but when you let these kinds of companies into the room then you may as well say goodbye to any semblence of credibility you were striving for.

This video is from MTV, and is basically about the evils of green washing. If you want to know all about green washing you should check out The Unsuitablog, Keith does a fantastic idea of pointing out the hypocrisy of many of the worst offenders.

But this has got to be one of the most ironic, perplexing video’s ever. MTV purveyor of all things over the top, all things gluttony, all things bling, and all things more more more, telling us to be green. I like how they mention not to trust people who put a slick ad campaign filled with celebrities over their bad behavior…

This is not just ironic, this is ironic irony, or meta irony. This kind of irony requires a whole new kind of math, and special computers, and a chart to figure out. Sorry MTV good try, but so long as you have Pimp My Ride, and shows about silly rich kids buying everything under the sun, and endless stories about this or that rich celebrity buying this or that you will not be green.

[from The Sietch Blog]

Thanks to The Sietch, The Unsuitablog was given a home, and for that I am eternally grateful. Cheers, Naib.